Retrospection...an attempt

I read your words, etched boldly across the screen, while scanning every word, in the background, scrolled a screen where I could picture you saying each of those whites to me. Perhaps it’s my overactive imagination, a trick my mind is playing on me, as it still seeks a word from you, maybe a retort would also suffice, maybe a single word that would bring peace to my mind.
I have a choice, to believe that this you write for me and recline the turmoil of a turbulent mind, or instead believe the crude form that they were uttered for a different reason, for a different person.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, so deep that the narrow path is lost, along the way many beliefs were misplaced, many hopes dwindled like dying glowworms, memories were crushed in the formative stage, so elementary that they can’t even be termed as memories, rather they remain as a fleeting glimpse of what was possible yesterday, that stands today in ruins of a beautiful meadow, once. The road less traveled is always the one that has hurt in store, just remorse and more.
Maybe it’s a mirage I’ am trailing; maybe it never existed; yet it lingers faint and brief in my memory. I often wake up to the feeling of nothingness, in those moments of absolute void, I see flashes of all that I lost, some for a reason defined, some the product of time.
Maybe what happened was for the best, I detest this lame thought, does not pacify the deal, so sealed and dead. I, chase still, life is long and I will meet my excuses someday with reasons worth a spine, maybe that day you will lend me your reasons verbally.
….the choice was yours and it was decided for me, I value your words till the path in the woods meets the highway of life.
In the end, without logic, without reason, without judgement, without precision of thought, what remains is that I miss you my dear friend, that I understand your intent, that there is no end….